I just finished putting on new sheets… at 5:30 AM. Work at 8:30. Why would I change my sheets at such an unreasonable time, I am sure you are wondering. Is it because I woke up remembering I just bought new sheets and literally could not wait one more second to use them? No, no it wasn’t. It was because… and excuse my french, my bag FUCKING leaked, AGAIN. Yep. This time, enough to get the sheets involved. I woke up at 4:30. I took off my belt (not my stealth belt) just the one that wraps around my waist and connects to each side of the flange. I filled my sink with water, cleaned with soap and let it soak in the water. Then I took my bag off. I knew going in what a nightmare it was going to be. I could hear before I had even taken the bag off that diarrhea was still “in progress.” Excuse the graphic nature of this situation, it’s gross, I know. It took me 35 minutes of just shitting there before I could begin. **I’d like to note that that shitting was a typo and meant to be sitting, but I enjoy irony so I figured I’d leave it. It was gross. I am half asleep and can’t afford to be lazy when it comes to holding the sheet after sheet of paper towel to keep the mess “centralized.” I laid a towel on the ground and one on my lap too. The skin under my stoma was bad, again. I was just getting that back under control. As I slowly began the process (mostly one handed) because one was keeping tabs on my OVER ACTIVE stoma at all times. Finally, I got the adhesive around the stoma and placed the bag on. DONE. Oh wait, wrong, not done. I forgot to take the plastic casing of the back of the bag off… back to the whole half asleep thing… so I had to pull it off, and of course it was sticking to the moldable ring enough to pull that off with it! YAY! So, I   put another on, took the damn back piece off the bag and I was done. A nightmare. So now it is 5:45 and I will undoubtedly wake up for work feeling like a zombie and like I need at least 3 more hours of sleep. I’m almost afraid to sleep because if it leaks again I honestly don’t know what I will do. I threw my belt in the dryer so that’ll be ready in the morning.

Backtracking a bit, the last few days have been alright. I woke up saturday and around noon I noticed there was a leak and had to change then too. The weekend though, I seemed to have gotten my poo back to a good place and everything was okay. I even drank a bit saturday night and was still okay. Although it seems I am paying for it now, as most of Sunday it was back to loose. Keeping up on the benefiber and imodium and will continue to eat Peanut Butter, Bananas, and anything else that may end this diarrhea.

Wednesday is my last appointment at Chapel Hill before my surgery that is a month from tomorrow. I can’t wait to get this stupid thing off my body. I’ll check in soon. Thanks for reading. Goodnight.