Tuesday – June 16, 2015

It is not quite 9 yet. I am in bed. It’s been a long two days. Finishing up some projects at work, packing, and realizing that there’s much more time between now and surgery. Ever since I started taking Imodium on a consistent basis, things seem to be getting better. No leaks in 3 nights. I changed it Sunday mid-day. My skin is looking better. Not 100%, but close. 9 more days and I’ll be on my way to Florida for a family cruise. I’m about ready to get out of Myrtle for a week. I plan on packing enough supplies for me to leak every night. You can never be too careful. As I pack for the vacation I’m simultaneously moving all my stuff back into my parents. I will recover for a few months there and then find a new place to live. So I guess starting July 9th, I’m homeless for a little bit. Once again I have a bachelor party and wedding to motivate me to heal quickly so I can enjoy myself. The bachelor party will be over a month after surgery and the wedding will be two months after. Atlantic City and then wedding is in New York. Should be another fun one. Which reminds me, I’ve got to go get fitted for my tux. I’ve still got 10 more pounds to gain. I was hoping to have gained everything back before the next surgery but that’s not looking so good. I’m more nervous going into this surgery. Not sure why that is. It’s just a very deflating feeling to know I have to go through all that stuff again. Walking again. Catheter. J-drain. Pain. I’ll have to watch what I eat more carefully this time. I hear there’s more pain internally while I try to pass gas for the first time. Ugh. It’s enough to make me want to disappear on one of those islands in two weeks and not come back. Don’t worry I’ll still blog from Coco Kay if that’s where I end up. It’ll get real messy when I run out of bags.

 I’m going to watch Chappie, and fall asleep. Shouldn’t be a busy day in the office tomorrow. When I get home I’ll continue to pack some stuff.  Thanks for continuing to read, hope what insight I share is helping if that’s what you’re here for, and remember, I’m one click away if you have any questions or advice. 

Monday – June 8th, 2015

I just finished putting on new sheets… at 5:30 AM. Work at 8:30. Why would I change my sheets at such an unreasonable time, I am sure you are wondering. Is it because I woke up remembering I just bought new sheets and literally could not wait one more second to use them? No, no it wasn’t. It was because… and excuse my french, my bag FUCKING leaked, AGAIN. Yep. This time, enough to get the sheets involved. I woke up at 4:30. I took off my belt (not my stealth belt) just the one that wraps around my waist and connects to each side of the flange. I filled my sink with water, cleaned with soap and let it soak in the water. Then I took my bag off. I knew going in what a nightmare it was going to be. I could hear before I had even taken the bag off that diarrhea was still “in progress.” Excuse the graphic nature of this situation, it’s gross, I know. It took me 35 minutes of just shitting there before I could begin. **I’d like to note that that shitting was a typo and meant to be sitting, but I enjoy irony so I figured I’d leave it. It was gross. I am half asleep and can’t afford to be lazy when it comes to holding the sheet after sheet of paper towel to keep the mess “centralized.” I laid a towel on the ground and one on my lap too. The skin under my stoma was bad, again. I was just getting that back under control. As I slowly began the process (mostly one handed) because one was keeping tabs on my OVER ACTIVE stoma at all times. Finally, I got the adhesive around the stoma and placed the bag on. DONE. Oh wait, wrong, not done. I forgot to take the plastic casing of the back of the bag off… back to the whole half asleep thing… so I had to pull it off, and of course it was sticking to the moldable ring enough to pull that off with it! YAY! So, I   put another on, took the damn back piece off the bag and I was done. A nightmare. So now it is 5:45 and I will undoubtedly wake up for work feeling like a zombie and like I need at least 3 more hours of sleep. I’m almost afraid to sleep because if it leaks again I honestly don’t know what I will do. I threw my belt in the dryer so that’ll be ready in the morning.

Backtracking a bit, the last few days have been alright. I woke up saturday and around noon I noticed there was a leak and had to change then too. The weekend though, I seemed to have gotten my poo back to a good place and everything was okay. I even drank a bit saturday night and was still okay. Although it seems I am paying for it now, as most of Sunday it was back to loose. Keeping up on the benefiber and imodium and will continue to eat Peanut Butter, Bananas, and anything else that may end this diarrhea.

Wednesday is my last appointment at Chapel Hill before my surgery that is a month from tomorrow. I can’t wait to get this stupid thing off my body. I’ll check in soon. Thanks for reading. Goodnight.

Saturday March 14th, 2015 – Monday March 23rd, 2015

I wake up at about 9. I’m not sure how I even willed myself to sleep with the amount of pain I was in from the headache. I call my mom and tell her I need her to come and take me to the hospital. Here’s the catch: My GI doctor is in Wilmington. Wilmington is two hours from Myrtle Beach. My parents are smack in the middle of Wilmington and Myrtle. My mom wanted to take me to Wilmington because my doctor is there but I was hesitant because it was so far. We argued via text, as I waited for her to arrive, about whether or not I could even make it the whole 2 hour drive to the hospital. In the end, we went to Wilmington.

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