It has been three weeks since surgery. Although after a long day and a stressful night, it’s pretty crazy to think how far I’ve come. Let’s start at 8am. A song by Grace Potter and the Nocturnals woke me up for my first day of work in almost a month. I was excited to get out of the house (sorry mom….and Osty) I had a pile full of stuff ready to go. It was the first time I had to actually wrap a belt around my waist…. not the most exciting thing. Always make sure you have extra supplies with you at all times god forbid something goes wrong. You never know. I got to the office a little after 9. It was nice to see people I hadn’t seen friday and everyone was super nice and supportive of me being back. A lot of, “take it easy’s” and “don’t over do its” were sincerely mentioned by more than one person. I am lucky to have a super cool boss as well that has been great through this whole thing. Work can be a stressful thing, especially the news. I was able to focus on my recovery and not worry about work related issues this whole time. That was really great. He didn’t burden me with much today. He understood I might have to duck out early if I was too tired or just wasn’t feeling up to being there. I made it until 4:30. But boy was I wiped. My mom drove me to work because I still don’t have the strength or flexibility to confidently drive a car, but that will change in the next day or two. Mom arrived at 4:20 to pick me up. After a whole day of walking around and getting up and down I was tired. A little sore, but more tired than anything. The getting up and down part is the hardest. It just takes a lot of work to pull yourself up with a still very weak abdomen.

By the time we got home I was pretty exhausted. Overall there were no major hiccups. Everything went to plan. A successful first day of work. All the supplies I had ordered had arrived today. Included in the shipment was a wrap. Something meant to wrap around the stomach keeping the bag in place allowing for my support and comfort. We decided to try that out after dinner….this was a mistake. Let me try and explain…

As time goes on I am learning and understanding more about different pouches and why some are better than others. two piece pouches consist of, yes, you guessed it, two pieces. One being the bag itself, and the other being the “flange” or circular piece that has the adhesive part on one side that sticks to my stomach with a hole in the middle for the stoma. I take the protective piece off the sticky end and carefully lower and stick to my skin. (stoma goes through center hole) Now, I take the bag that has a hole the same size of the flange and place that over the stoma and snap it to the flange. That, in the simplest of explanations, is a two piece system. Now I can safely go to the bathroom into the bag, without anything getting on my skin. The other bag I tried last week, that I did not like as much because of the amount of sticky adhesive was on the flange, had a much better “snapping” mechanism. On that bag you just had to snap the top and you could twist the bag vertically or horizontally as you saw fit. (without having to take apart the two pieces and exposing the stoma. This pouch, for those of you wondering, was the colopast pouch. The one that I am currently wearing, a Hollister Brand, must be snapped off. Here is why I am explaining this to you. Thie wrap that I got today, requires that the bag be put horizontal so that it can easily be tucked into the wrap. That means I have to unsnap the flange and pouch. I was a bit uncomfortable doing this for a few reasons. For one thing, I am still a bit sore there and pulling the pouch off the flange will require a bit more force than I am comfortable applying at this time. Second, anytime you play around with that part, where the adhesive is, you cause more likelihood of a possible leak occurring. Thirdly, it could be messy if I didn’t do it quickly, and it was my first time so I was unsure how it would go. I took the bag off, a bit slow at first and was nervous once it was off that I wasn’t going to get it back on. It stressed me out and aggravated me. I finally got it on.

At this point I am tired. Almost a full days work, certainly the most I’ve exerted myself physically and mentally (besides a few jumbles and Jeopardy) in a long time, I was in no mood for this. The wrap to a second to get figured out. Where to snap what and how far and where the bag went. Finally I got it. When all was said and done. I wasn’t happy. I didn’t feel more comfortable or more support at all. In fact I was more paranoid now because although I could probably sleep on my right side I didn’t like the fact that I could easily look down and see if my bag needed emptying, or if there was a leak. Moral of the story… this wrap wasn’t for me. It isn’t to say it isn’t for everyone. I just don’t like the whole horizontal bag thing. Not yet at least. I have been searching forums online and haven’t found a decisive yes or no on whether it is even possible to empty a bag that is on sideways. If you have any insight into this, feel free to comment below! Another belt I have on the way, a “stealth belt” (link is on the tab to the right) is supposed to be much better and I believe my bag can stay vertical and I just tuck it up and into the belt. We will see. I got into bed feeling frustrated. Quite frankly I am ready for these four months to be over. I just want this all to be behind me. We’re all entitled to a few bad nights right? I’m going to bed. Day two of work tomorrow, let’s hope I wake up a little bit stronger and without any leaks.